Sometimes when I watch the US Women's National Team play I just think to myself, is there anything more dominant than this team? So I go through the normal thought process of scenarios in which something is more dominant than the other and that list normally goes as follows; Superman vs a baby, sugar vs sweet n low, and Wawa vs any other gas station. Each of these scenarios has a clear dominant victor, but they all fail in comparison to the domination of the US Women's National Team. Alex Morgan is not only the most beautiful woman to ever grace this green and blue Earth, but she is the driving force of this domination. She's literally a dominatrix and the opposing countries are paying for her services. France and Germany were witnesses to a great dose of pain from Ms. Morgan and I'm sure they're quite sore to this day.
Another great thing about winning the SheBelieves Cup is that we beat up on countries with some sketchy histories. Let's walk through the list of the losers that tried to stand in the way of the USA. First up we had, England. Let's try and rack our brains and think of a time in which England was a threat to the US... that's right, the American Revolutionary War. Just as we did back in the 1700's, we did exactly that in the opening round of the tournament. Crystal Dunn, Puerto Rico's worst nightmare, had one of the most impressive goals you will ever see. This goal against England, to put it in historical terms, was comparable to John Hancock signing the Declaration of Independence. That ball, as it was jetting towards the upper 90 was yelling "Freedom" as it whizzed by the English keepers outstretched oppressive hands.
And with that goal, the US team advances to play what could possibly be one of the worst countries on Earth, France. The country that gave us socialism and women with armpit hair thought they would be a match for us. Well France, let's take a look at your colorful history. Sure they "helped" us out in our Revolutionary War.... After they realized we were going to defeat the English, in what I consider a piggy back move by the French to assert themselves as the dominant force in Europe. And let’s not forget what they're very good at, giving up and surrendering. In the 2nd round of the SheBelieves Cup, France did what they did on June 22, 1940 against Germany, they gave up (a goal). Alex Morgan, I'm sure by now you know that we at USsoccerTalk.com admire the beauty of Alex Morgan but her incredibly gifted play on the pitch. The 91st minute goal by Ms. Morgan could only have been executed with such furious anger by receiving one of the most exquisite passes you will see by Mallory Pugh. And with that goal, down goes France, a common phrase throughout history.
Last but not least on the demolition circuit is the soccer powerhouse, Germany. I'm pretty sure that I don't have to go into great detail about the sketchy history that burdens this country, but I'll just use the following quote to sum it all up, "You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'." - Lt. Aldo Raine from the timeless classic Inglourious Basterds. And just like in World War 2, Germany got an early lead on everyone but they poked the sleeping giant and the US took care of business. Proving that history will always repeat itself. Honestly, the only way that Germany could have even hoped to win this game were if they had the assistance of Italy and Japan, but even then the odds were never in their favor, and once again the USA prevailed and took home the Cup!
Winning is simply the only thing that makes sense to this great country and the USWNT exemplifies this attitude with their impressive play. To conclude this week's blog, here is the quote of the week; “Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du, yeah”. - Hanson from the hit classic MMMbop