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There's No PC in Soccer Blog

The Sixth Branch of the US Military and Becoming Friends with an Enemy

4/21/2016

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​We're all familiar with the 5 known branches of the military; Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force and Coast Guard. But most people don't know about the 6th branch and the most dominant of them all... The USWNT. The US Women’s National Team is conquering soccer terrorism and spreading the beauty of freedom to countries all over the world. Just in the past weeks the branch of the military gave Colombia 10 examples of freedom and greatness. Throw in the SheBelieves Cup and the World Cup and they're basically taking over the world, one goal at a time. The rumor mill is ablaze that Steve Rogers is on the verge of handing over his Vibranium-steel alloy Shield to Carli Lloyd and Becky Sauerbrunn the real Captains of America. I know that I've written about this team winning all the time but what is better than winning? The answer, to put it simply, nothing. Not even a David Beckham’s Calvin Klein commercial competes with the feeling of winning. And that is one really, really ridiculously good looking individual. Everyone loves a winner and everyone forgets the loser.  Just ask Walter Mondale and Bob Dole! Who are these 2 men you ask? Exactly! Just a couple of losers that no one cares about. On the other hand, let's see all of the winners we can list, the US in the Revolutionary War, the US in World War 1, the US in World War 2, the US in being the greatest country on earth and the best country flag on the Moon. Just to remind everyone, the Moon belongs to the US. Just like the entire sport of women's soccer belongs to the US.
 
Also, on a side note, a couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to meet Servando Carrasco, Alex Morgan's husband. I was very ready to give this guy a piece of my mind and tell him that he's no good for her and that he should just kill himself or fake his own kidnapping so that Alex and I could finally be together. Surprisingly, this guy was one of the most level headed and nicest athletes that I've had the pleasure of meeting. He was cool, calm and in great spirits when I handed him my love letter for his wife. Now, I know what you're thinking, why would you give a love letter to Alex Morgan's husband? Well, that's because there were 2 ways that this could have broken down: way number 1, he would have ripped up the letter and decided to have fisticuffs with me; way number 2, he would have seen how much I care for Alex and he would have graciously said, "This letter moved me, I'm going to do the right thing and I'm going to divorce her immediately so that you two can be happy together forever.” And he would have admitted that I was the greatest. However, there was apparently a 3rd option that I had no idea would happen. He read the letter and enjoyed it! I was confused but at the same time I could see the pain hidden behind his laughter and that's when I knew that I should not be a homewrecker and steal his woman from him. I told him after he looked up from the letter, that the love note was actually just a satirically written blog and that I approve of his relationship with the Goddess herself. The man who I had hated for a long time was no longer my enemy, but was my friend. And with that I leave you with this week’s quote from the best Rocky movie, Rocky IV "I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!"

Click Here for the video of Servando Carrasco reading Alex Morgan's Love Letter!!
1 Comment

    Author

    Raymon Garcia

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  • US Soccer News
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